This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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