Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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