So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
