I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
