if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize