She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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