every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
