Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
