You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
