matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
