but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize