Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
