My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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