White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
