Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
