drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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