Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize