Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
