Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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