Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
