i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
