a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize