My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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