Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
