So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
