So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
50% drunk capacity currently
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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