Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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