whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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