3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Randomize
