Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
