my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize