conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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