Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize