You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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