I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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