Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
