i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
