just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Is it penis luge time yet?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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