addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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