I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize