You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize