Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
