you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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