I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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