turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I am one with the molecules
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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