i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
