dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
