Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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