So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
