I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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