It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize