he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
