At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think your dad took our porno
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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