woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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