I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize