Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
