Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
