what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You were trust falling into bushes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize