I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
