Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
