i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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